dhensyndrome:

dhensyndrome:

Not those “it’s been a week, let’s break up because I tasted your dick so many times” relationship. I want those “Happy 50th anniversary babe, let’s go see the doctor because my arthritis is getting worse” relationship.

2.2k notes later and I’m still single.

(via thelifeoflindsey)

iwillfucknepeta:

pimpeta-slap:

mrv4n1ll4m1lksh4k3:

pimpeta-slap:

Who came up with kissing? Seriously?
Did 2 people one day accidentally bash heads together and went like, “Oh… That was nice”
*violently bashes head together again*
“This should be a thing”

kissing is a method of exchanging saliva (and thus DNA) to determine whether or not you would want to reproduce with that person

*Bashes heads once more*
You are a prime candidate for my child.

(via thelifeoflindsey)